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Think bar is the place that affection of a debauchery confuses all the time, having a society the most substaintial degenerate and decadent. Just discover now actually, bar is one can include the person of all sorts of configuration, why to no matter you are,plant purpose, why to plant means, here you can get you conceivable, desertion you think everything what discard. Without true ego, be being loosened here is a kind of instinct, happy ability is a kind of disengagement.
Got a short message that makes A Jun in the evening that day, she is my bar understanding, feel she and other boy are different, those who wear is very decent, look resemble a student, jump with a few girls rank dance when very blush. But my friend says him also work inside bar, full-time accompanies a person to drink. Very accident, but want to whats do not have here impossible. Another girl gives him telephone number, I remembered his number, but I was not saved. I want to be less than the reason that what is saved, he asks I do not go tonight X bar, I answer a short message to say to told him to won't go again, also won't be in later come such place. He also does not have farewell. What to feeling I think is more mature actualer also, although won't resemble going up again class hour is happy in that way, at least what won't I lose again, again sad for what lose. Because " this city has too much and ambiguous feeling, but do not have any good "
Considered a few issues [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], bad oneself mood, begin to drink, when what drink oneself is about the same, fast also empty after the show, female colleague remands me. . , think to just eat a meal to be able to come back originally, did not think of to be able to go bar. . Go for the first time. . Sought a corner because of the cause that won't drink, a person is sitting silently, observation removes me those friends. . . . Want than what I think fierce. . . But alleged hide do not leak. . |||Ah breathe out this I also am not very clear ~~~|||Think abstinence, write down clearly not clear such idea has come into being how many times. After-thought rises, also not by laugh indifferently.

Presumably oneself are imperceptible an alcoholic drink that already had 56 years age, unremitting, drink all the way come, looking in others probably is the ＂ drunkard ＂ of an one hundred percent already [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is companion with wine all day, actually from the heart for, feel this kind of appellation is disgusting all the time to reach and figure having damage. Want to cast off this deformed identity not to cast off the temptation that winebowl place brings me after all however, the sort of temptation already root deep the base of a fruit, bewilderment my nerve [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], devastate my body, nibble my soul

I am in all the time try to seek a means, simple and the method of effective, a wine ring that can make me relaxed, suffer the harm of wine no longer. The method has a lot of really, but always be so difficult to me.
There is too much bad to review in my human nature, it is difficult to fear, although had idea [link widoczny dla zalogowanych],put into practice sturdily very hard also. Look for various manage origin prevaricate next then escapism. Be me then actually is cowardly!

18 years old that year, year young ignorance, think that is kind of earmark that grow, begin to learning to drink, learning to distinguish the stand or fall of wine, go be used to the sort of barpque flavour hard, probably a lot of moment a lot of things are so casual the infatuation between.

19 years old that year, the friend beside discovery begins to learning to drink, are we grown between one night? ! only what can you just prove us so grow? ? I begin to suspect, begin to wanting to want what to reject. But like be brought up as cannot refusing, some things are helpless.

After a year, when understanding oneself already were the child no longer, vexed following one by one [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], be in then every time when the mood is low, begin to drink wildly, one cup receives a cup, seemed to free oneself easily so, actually I understand this is to use alcohol to stimulate him him coma clearly.
Abstinence! True, cannot hesitate again shook. What had harmed is too deep, wine is a drugs actually, regrettablly it is lawful consumable, more annoying is I return what can consume to rise actually.

Confidence? Motivation? I still am being searched hardly. For oneself? This reason always is too cadaverous without solid, a lot of moment I do not care to oneself. So for him proof, him proof still is done not have out and out decadent go down, him proof still has courage to reject to face.
Must abstinence! ! !
!! This card is final by handkerchief at 2008-11-30 08:55 editors5 editorsRelevant Information：


[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]

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